Tips4Lover

This is some tips to improving your friendship

1. Evaluate From a Long Term Perspective
The other person may be tired or preoccupied right now (it’s not all about you, after all), and not up for a whole lot of straight talk. Your communication problems may improve on their own over time, or may just not be important enough in the long run for you to demand that today’s problem be fixed right now.

2. Listen with More Attention, And More Caring
This is a person you’re in a relationship with. Whether it’s your child, your boss, or your romantic interest, what could be more worthy of your attention than trying to understand what they are saying, what they are feeling, and why they are sharing this with you at this moment? Put aside distractions, provide feedback so they know they are being heard, and try to find out how you can help. You want to, right?


3. Handle Conflict More Skillfully
For starters, work to clarify any ambiguity about expectations. Pause – a lot- to let yourself calm down prior to responding to any comments or actions that anger you. You might say, “I need to think about that a minute.” Don’t try to reason someone out of something they decided on emotion, not reason (e.g., who to trust, what to believe).

4. Become Less Dependent on the Relationship for Your Own Life Satisfaction
This is a tough one, for it requires that you find your own personal reason for being on this earth; your mission, if you will. The relationships you find yourself in throughout your life must, for the fullest life, be managed with that mission in mind.

5. Understand How the Other Person Thinks, And Why
This is probably the greatest secret to better communication in relationships; to know that each of us can only think the way our background and experiences have prepared us to think. Since we all have different backgrounds and experiences, conflicts are inevitable, and understanding difficult. Nevertheless, it’s worth learning to say “My experience has been different”, instead of “You’re wrong”. And it’s worth listening to them explain what in their background has led them to believe as they do. That’s a huge step toward better acceptance, and better understanding!

6. Master Assertive Communication
Aggressive communicators take care of themselves and let the other twist in the wind; passive communicators take care of the other and suffer for it, feeling put-upon. Assertive communication, a “graduate-level” communication skill between the two extremes, requires protecting yourself while acknowledging the needs of the other and trying to offer some help, suggestions, or referrals. It takes a lot of patience, and practice, but the results are simply incredible in better results, increased self-respect, the admiration of others, and real, lasting solutions to problems.

7. Understand and Work to Control the Nonverbal Messages You Send
How do you feel when someone says “sure”, but crosses their arms when you ask, “Can we talk?” You don’t believe them, right? So don’t project that same closed, uncaring attitude yourself. Make enough eye contact so they know you are paying attention, but not so much they feel microscopically examined, position yourself to limit distractions (not looking out the window, or at the TV, for example), and control your fidgeting, which looks impatient and weak.

8. Learn How to Exit Non-Destructively When Anger Threatens Communication
When your emotions are getting out of control, good communication is terribly difficult. So, give yourself, and the other, a break. Take a time-out; go to the rest room, take a quick walk. Let those hormones racing through your blood reach a more agreeable level so your reasoning powers have a chance to work. Don’t just walk out, though- that signals the end of the relationship. Say something like, “Give me a couple of minutes; I’ll be right back”, or “Can we talk some more about this a little later today?

9. Hear the Need behind the Want
Surprisingly, lots of communications breakdowns occur for reasons that aren’t even real and certainly not necessary. That argument about someone" not being there for dinner with you may be really about your need for attention and comfort. That war over a promotion at work may be really about a need for security or power.

10. Celebrate the Positive and Express Your Gratitude
People who have lost loved ones tell us how sorry they are they didn’t tell those people what gifts they were, or how much they were loved. Don’t join that guilty crowd- tell those close to you how much you care for them, and what, specifically, you appreciate about them. That alone will change the quality of the relationship, and of your life, for the better!

From http://share4better.blogspot.com/2009/05/some-tips-to-maintain-your-relationship.html

This list is designed to be a quick check for you to review. Use it to give you ideas to maintain your relationship, to give it a positive boost or to select a holiday gift. Some couples have also used it as a request list. They have circled what they would like to have and asked their partner to do the same. Feel free to add to the list and use it again and again. Enjoy!


1. Hug them.
2. Write a love note.
3. Call them at work just to say "Hi."
4. Give them a foot massage.
5. Tell them a joke.
6. Caress them with slow gentle strokes.
7. Go for a walk with them.
8. Send them a "happy gram."
9. Admit your mistakes.
10. Say: "I love you."
11. Indulge a whim.
12. Listen to them talk about an interest of theirs.
13. Be trustworthy.
14. Instead of complaining, tell them what you would prefer.
15. Look at them when you're in a discussion.
16. Send flowers.
17. Compliment something they did.
18. Offer to help.
19. Ask them to show you how to do something.
20. Call when you are going to be late.
21. Take them out to dinner.
22. Write them a poem about how special they are.
23. Cut out a cartoon they'll enjoy.
24. Ask them what they'd like sexually.
25. Go shopping together.
26. Take an afternoon drive.
27. Cuddle.
28. Put your arm around them in front of others.
29. Take them out on a surprise date.
30. Do something they want to do.
31. Listen.
32. Plan a candle light dinner.
33. Look at old photos together.
34. Serve them breakfast in bed.
35. Hold hands.
36. Share sexual fantasies.
37. Do a work project together.
38. Rub their back.
39. Take a shower together.
40. Carry their photo in your wallet.
41. Go away together for a weekend holiday.
42. Kiss them.
43. Smile more when you look at them.
44. Go for a bicycle ride together.
45. Surprise them with "special" attire.
46. Plan a picnic lunch.
47. Read something together about how to have a better relationship.
48. Repeat what they say before answering.
49. Say "Good morning" first.
50. Ask if they have a few minutes first before interrupting.
51. Send them a card.
52. Surprise them with a gift when it's a non-holiday.
53. Cook them a favorite meal.
54. Try a new restaurant.
55. Ask them how they feel.
56. Let them know when you are proud of them.
57. Ask for their opinion.
58. Turn on some romantic music.
59. Dedicate a song to them.
60. Send them a balloon bouquet.
61. Watch a sunset together.
62. Play a game together.
63. Have them teach you something they know.
64. Tell them they have the night off.
65. Go to a movie they select.
66. Ask them for a hug.
67. Wear some new cologne.
68. Take them to Bali.
69. Discuss future plans with them.
70. Ask if you can help when they look sad.
71. Ask them about their dreams.
72. Meet them for lunch.
73. Enlarge a scenic photo of a place you've shared.
74. Give them a gift certificate for their favorite store.
75. Tell them what you like about them.
76. Buy them a new perfume.
77. Take them to a scenic spot.
78. Send them a gourmet gift basket.
79. Send them a joke card.
80. Let them know when you've thought of them during the day.
81. Buy them a toy.
82. Compliment them to their friends.
83. Bring them a thirst quenching drink.
84. Tell them when they look attractive.
85. Send them a post card.
86. Invite them to a secret rendezvous.
87. Give them a massage.
88. Take a lesson with them.
89. Look at photos together of when you met.
90. Plan a vacation with them.
91. Listen openly to their opposing opinion.
92. Buy them a new piece of jewelry.
93. Watch a TV show they like with them
94. Write them a letter.
95. Listen to music with them, such as an old favorite.
96. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
97. Tell them what you like that they do.
98. Give a head massage.
99. Invite them to a concert.
100. Let them know you care.

As you can see. 70% an relationship is broke because a mistake. in this posting I'm gonna tell you about " How ",why, and "what". I would tell it more but because time is money and I don't master in english language. I can't give you more.. Sorry T.T
1. How you did something wrong?
hmm...in this posting . I'm think this is the main problems that cause a relationship become wrong :
a. said a wrong words.
b. misunderstanding
c. can't control your emotion
d. you dissapoint someone
e. lack of communication
f. problem still unsolved
g. lack a attention
h. your behavior change quickly
i. to jealous
j. lie, lie, and more lie
k. to fanatic

Why ???
if you said a wrong words, just figure this; maybe you can say " shit " to some of your friend. but some of your friend does'nt want you to say it. maybe it's because his/her culture
if misunderstanding, it's because you say a wrong word. that make him/her confuse. now that the start of this problem. believe me
if you can't control your emotion, just be learn how to patiente. that the key to control your emotion.
if you dissapointing someone, maybe because you don't give a right promise. if you make a promise. you must guaranted 100% that you can fulfill the promise you give to her/him.
if lack of communication, because you no longer talk to her/him anymore. maybe because you don't have a time or busy. try to make a space between your busy time and a social time.
if your problem still unsolved, because you don't ask for help to her/him. just trying to ask for help if you have a problem.
if lack of attention, because you don't care anymore. start to care to all your friend
if your behavior is change quickly, maybe because you follow a behavior that few people like it but everyone hate it. that behavior came form many media especialy form TV. just think about this ; want to be accepted by your all friend or few friend?.
if you to jealous, because you jealous. always think about your self. I said this personaly to you. I hate people that so jealous. the people who don't like to take a risk to help his/her friend. the people always like to see his/her friend suffering by problem. and you know I hate it right?? so do you?
if you lie, it's many question "why do you lie". but many people lie because they don't get troubled. but they don't know lie always discover in othertime. believe me. this myth is real.
if you to fanatic. maybe you to fanatic to someone. In this situation. I would like to ask to you." why you like him/her?, why don't like to your self". just believe that you better than anyone.

what is the solution??
1. start to ask for help form your friend. that might be the solution to solve a problem.
2. start to change your bad behavior by learn good behavior.
3. start to learn your friends cultures.
4. just believe your self.

What?? love is gone?? it's that possible?? why it possible?? how we act to avoid that??. it's all here. just wait and see this shit...
Why a love don't last long? I'm think I'm got a little answer:
1. lack of communication
2. dull conversation
3. lack of change
4. lack something new things
5. less joke
6. less story to tell
7. and more.....


1.lack of communication
as i say. communication is a good thing for your relationship. it's like a fuel on a car. if a fuel in your car is leak. the car will not move for a long time. you know what I mean right????

2.dull conversation
a conversation is good. but if you reply a same conversation -like in the past happen again-. surely make a boring condition when she/he near with you. just make a new conversation topic everytime you see him/her. dull conversation is a major problem that happen a lot in every relationship. the solution is always read a media and news. that's help you to find a good topic conversation.

3.lack of change
change is a natural thing that happen to every living things and dead things. so? in a relationship, change is a part to make a diference. everyone like a diferent thing. what I'm trying to say that you must follow the globalitazion. think about it. world is change, you should change too. if you don't??........

4.leak something new
new things always happen everyday. in relationship, News is important to make a good conversation. always tell a news to make a conversation. thurst me it's work.

5.less joke
I'm telling y'all. joke is a powerfull weapon id you combine a joke with your conversation. I'm think you know the answer right?? it's funny conversation!!!. everyone like a funny story. that's how to make your conversation stay as long as you want. because anyone never bored with funny thing.

6.less story to tell
story is a main part of conversation. I'm think you already know that. i'm suggest you tell a story with little joke. it's good to make your conversation more relax, not to intense. pick a good story. like news, sport, gossip and more. I'm telling you. telling a story is'nt tell a fairy tale SHIT!!!.

7. unsolved problem
problem always become a burden if you don't do "SHIT" to finish it. if she/he got a problem. just ask her/him what problem only you can do is give a solution. if can, you help her/him. so?? if you have a problem too. share it.. don't get embarased that's why you called him/her your friend.

8. you did something wrong??
do you see the title up here?? 70%(maybe higher) couple was'nt achieve their main goal because you did something wrong!, wrong does'nt mean you wrong at all. maybe you do it by accident or purposely. if this is your problem. maybe you will see it in my next posting. because it's a long story.

9. anger
angry like a problem inside of you and a problem that should you control because everyone don;t ant to see you angry all the time, well some people do.
this "MAD VIRUS" I will talk about it in my next posting cuz it's long story to tell.

10. less smile more SHIT
I'm believe everyone don't like smell a shit, do you?? if you like a shit just email me and I will send you a shit. hahaha I'm kidding. here's my illustration:
there;s a flower and a shit. what will you choose? a flower or a shit?? 99.9% normal people like a flower. and you know that!!!
everyone like a smile. you must smile when your friend tell a joke to you. even if does'nt funny. that's how she/he like to talk to you.if you don't start smile. maybe you will end up like a SHIT.

11.and more....
heyy!!!! I'm don't tell it's finish. I'm just running out the idea.... I'm sorry T.T
and I'm hope by your comment so I can correct My mistake..



Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, what ever and forever. haha I'm kidding. but you have seen all my mistake in this posting. that's right!!. my mistake until I realize that by my self and I'm think how to prevent it. if you don't want to end up like a shit.
okay then to the point, how to prevent it, maybe this gonna work for y'all
1. it's start to you to change. just ask your friend about you. if she/he say a negative repond to you. just accept it and try to change your bad behavior. maybe it's gonna work for you.
2. start to watch News, media, sport programs. it's will help you to find a topic in conversation.
3. say sorry to her/him because do a bad thing to her/him. hmm... I'm think I gonna talk about this in my next posting.
4. solve your problem with gentle, soft, and profesional. it's will solve your problem with peace without make more problem.
5. control your emoticons. this SHIT I will talk about it in my next posting.
6. watch out your mouth! control everthing you say if you don't want hurt her/his heart.

above all I know. this is only a oppinion with a true story of mine. maybe I'm right Maybe I'm wrong, I dont know I dont care.
peace out!!!

If you still high school or college. Maybe this tips good to you. Hey! I’m talking about love in school. Not an adult love. If you under 19 ages or still apply to school or college. Maybe this tips gonna help you if you do it good. I’m don’t say be perfect. Just do it good. Now! Listen to me “CuZ” this thing make you crazy(maybe).

1. be popular
this is the first step how to be famous in your school or etc. because this step make all people in your neibourhood/hood know you. Being popular is easy thing to do and two side you wanna be. First is become a good guy and second become a bad guy. I’m think girls like a bad guy not because the bad guys always brake a rule. Because they are active. Like sport, atletic and some shit. Okay if you wanna be a good guy. It’s easy to do. Just study and get a good grade in every exam. That’s gonna work to you. If you want to be a bad guy is easy too. This not acctualy bad at all. It’s like an opposite of the bad guy. You must know the answer right?? It’s sports. Girls like a atletic guy. If you want to be this man. Just work out. Show your muscle if you had a big one. Believe me. Girls like man muscle.

2. don’t afraid to a girl
girl don’t bite you. Why you make a space between you and them?. That’s ain’t nice. If you that type of man. You must change!!!. Girl doesn’t like to chase you but you must chase your own girl. Be a lion!. If you want to change. Just do this. Form this day on. You must start to talk to a girl. Find one girl and talk to her. If you do it wrong just do it until you not afraid with a girl anymore.
3. little secret in you
girl like a secret. They always talk about secret all the time. If you want to be a part of their list to be talking about. Just give them your tiny clue of your own secret to them. When you talking to a girl. Just said you have a little secret. Believe me. I’m don’t know how to tell them about your secret. But if that’s work you will be on their list. A girl become crazy about you.
4. Smile
Smile is good. It’s your one of your ability to attract a girl. Sometimes, you just smile to a girl you look and she will give you another respond to you. Like laugh and smile to you back. That’s good, everyone know that’s smile sign of your kindness. You know girl like that right??
5. your hygine
this is how a girl judge you. Are you clean guy or messy guy. So? What you want to choose??
6. stay away form drugs.
This “ShiT” make you official kick out form your community. No one I’mean no one girl in this world like a narcotic guy. Right??
7. real talented guy
it’s different with popular. Popular mean respect but talent is your ability. Girls like a real stuff. So? Show what you got, show your talent, just show who you are.
8. Good looking (if you lucky)
Thrust me. Every girl in this world like a handsome guy. With this. It’s easy to attract a girl but don’t say that your face is good enough. Only thing to do is make your self a good man. Believe me. You will attract a girls in this planet.
9. Rich guy ( if you lucky)
Well…. If you ric. All you have to do is don’t tell that you are a rich man. Just be humble guy. Or you will be judge by other girl
10. joking(if you can)
joke always become part of your conversation. If you always do it. Girls will stick with you for a long time.

Have you seen enough? If you like “ to the point” just stay cool, stay positive, be a man, and stay alive. Peace out…..^.^

I’m know what feeling when you approach a sexy girl esspecialy your dream girl. Your blood become so hot, your heart pumping so quick, your mind is thinking about extreme action and more.
That’s how I feel when I’m want to find a girl friend. But some how you don’t feel that because you can control it. But believe me!. Almost everyone feel a same feeling.
If your challenge is to find a newgirl friend. That’s a lot things to do before approach her. Everyone has their own way to approach her. But this is I’m wanna tell you about trick to find a girl and there’s my tips and how to approach her :
1. before you meet your target/ girl that’s you like to be your friend. One thing to do is preparation:
1.1 don’t think that you being rejected. Think that you being accepted. Think that you are a winner. If you thinking about that way. Your courage will rise if near with your target. Do you know what I’m say do you?
1.2 I’m want you to know about SSB or Spray a perfume, Second in style, and Brush your teeth. Because girl like a neat person (not everyone) and to cover one excuse to being rejected.
1.3 Setting your speech. The speech is one major of succesfull in order to stay longer with your target. Just use your normal speech. That’s all you must do!
1.4 Your volume voice. Just use your normal volume voice. Not to loud not to soft.
1.5 Acting. This part defend how your behavior. I’m prefer being a “not neat” person or “ not stylist person. What I’m trying to tell is how you become open to everyone. So your target comfortable near with you.
1.6 Prepare your joke. This is a greater excuse why your target accept you to talking with your target. Because everyone like funny guy. But if you not that type. I’m recommend not to tell a joke. Because if your joke is unfunny , you will be shame and greater excuse to reject to you.

If all preparation is on. Just do a simple way. just walk to her directly and say “ hello” to her. If she answer to your question. That’s a perfect time to give a joke. If she laugh. It’s good but if doesn’t just change your topic, ask her about something importante. Like “where’s the direction to ballroom*?” we only need her to answer. Don’t ask that don’t importante. If she answer it. Tell you already know. Ask her “ do you wanna show me the way?” if she had a time to give you the direction. And that’s a time to introduce your self to your target.
That’s how I’m roll with every target. But I’m just said that not in this text is true and become your way to find your target. I’m just give my tips how to approach my target. Don’t copy it but improvise it. All right??
My importante tips is always Smile. That’s all.
Okay then. I’m gonna give my other tips soon. Thx to see this crap. Peace out!

this is for real?? is there a tips for this tipe of relationship?
ouwh... I'm got that tips. here it!!
1. Communicate. Hell yeah this all about this. This thing always exist in every reliationship. In my last preview posting. You will find a same meaning about communication. But in this kind of your reliationship, you should know this one. Must!!!! PRIORITY the communication. Is’nt that right ???

2. Sending a letter. This is old school thing!. But why is importante to keep your reliantionship in romance?. That’s right I’m talking about romance. You can said it’s oldschool but oldschool never died. You should try this. Send her something romance. That’s shit is work to her. Also, the love letter make her more crazy about you.

3. Don’t tied her space. Okay, if you wanna keep her good reliantionship. You should do this. If you don’t. I’m guarantee it’s nice. Believe me!

4. Give her a surprise in right moment!. Surprise is good if in a right time, you will get a good respond from her. If doesn’t you will get reverse thing. Believe me!

5. Understanding to her, always sharing about your lifetime to her, ouwh.. not everything. I’m mean an exciting moment you should share to her. Good thing to make your reliantionship doesn’t to static. Heay!!..

that’s is a easy thing to do and a small piece I give you. You must try it. Believe me, your girl will love it.
There’s still many tips I will give you but in a right time and in right mood.
I will give you a tips.
Peace out!